My Snape fics!
by Mykerinos
Summary: Chapter 4: How I think Sev thinks. This summary sucks.. I know! Just read it.
1. Introduction

Hey! Here I've collected my short Snape fics! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 2 - Snape's Uptown Girl, my first parody, done on Westlife's "Uptown Girl".  
  
Chapter 3 - The "joke", the reason why Snape's hating the Marauders that much, based on what's told in book 3.  
  
Chapter 4 - Thoughts in my head, just a short fic I've made about Snape's thoughts.  
  
Disclaimer for all chapters: I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
I also don't own the song Uptown Girl. 


	2. Snape's Uptown Girl

Okay, this songfic is a parody on Westlife's "Uptown Girl". Ever heard about it? It's a pretty cheerful song, and actually it doesn't fit to Snape, but come on, I was bored on my vacation, and I've worked on this for a lot hours. Some things don't fit at all, but I'm still Dutch, and rhyming in English isn't really easy to me :) Snape's the one to sing it, and he's singing it for a girl he loves. He's a cold, sarcastic, mean, old man, and she's a young, so totally the opposite of a normal Slytherin, cheerful, Slytherin. Have fun ^^  
  
  
  
  
  
Slytherin,  
  
It's strange she's in the house where I am in  
  
Cause she is so much different from me  
  
I guess the sortinghat didn't see  
  
  
  
I'm gonna try for a Slytherin,  
  
I wish I hadn't got this damned pale skin.  
  
I'm even thinking of washing my hair,  
  
Because a girl like her is very rare.  
  
I won't despair.  
  
  
  
And when she's rebellious, I'll not give detention.  
  
But I'll give Potter, when he tries to mention.  
  
  
  
She'll see I'm not so bad,  
  
Just because I have met  
  
  
  
This Slytherin,  
  
It doesn't seem like she cares to win.  
  
But I will help her as much as I can.  
  
And I'll behave as a perfect man (lol)  
  
  
  
Slytherin,  
  
She drives me crazy with that lovely grin.  
  
I can't believe I'm loving such a cutie.  
  
When she's in my class I forget my duty.  
  
  
  
When she's talking, I'm melting away.  
  
And when she's asking, I don't know what to say.  
  
  
  
She'll see I'm not so mean,  
  
Just because I have seen  
  
  
  
This Slytherin,  
  
She's a Slytherin  
  
You know I'm in love with a Slytherin  
  
(repeat till the end)  
  
  
  
  
  
Oh, this was bad. I had to change some things because they weren't rhyming. Now it's kinda ruined. *runs away to cry* 


	3. The joke

This is not really a Snape fic, but Snape's in it, of course. It's about Sirius' joke, the reason why Snape's hating James, Sirius and Remus. It's based on what Remus told to Harry, Ron and Hermione in book 3. But some things are changed. Please review!  
  
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"So Wormtail will lead him away, while I go to...-" Sirius stopped his sentence.  
  
"Yeah, go on?" Peter said impatiently.  
  
Sirius didn't react. He squeezed his eyes and slowly walked to the door. With a little scream he trew the door open, and saw a pale boy with a grin on his face standing in front of him.  
  
"Severus. I knew it was you." Sirius said angrily.  
  
"Of course I am, and I know what you guys are up to."  
  
Sirius sighed. "Sure you are. You ALWAYS are. Too bad we still haven't been kicked from school, huh? Now leave us alone!"  
  
With a smack Sirius closed the door, and walked back to the rest of the group. Remus had stood up.  
  
"I have to go," he said. "Tell me about the plan when I'm normal again."  
  
"Good luck!" James smiled.  
  
"Yeah, good luck!" Peter said with a little voice.  
  
  
  
Snape walked to the Slytherin's common room. Those stupid kids. Always planning stupid stuff. He entered the common room, and sat down in a chair. He looked around. The common room was empty, except for himself. He looked out of the window. Somebody was walking there! Who's walking on the school terrain when it's almost night? Snape jumped up, and ran to the window. That was.... It was Remus with Madame Pomfrey! Snape's heart was bouncing. He ran out of the common room.  
  
  
  
Sirius was thinking how he could take revenge on Severus. That interfering loser was always trying to eavesdrop his conversations, to blacken their reputations, to be obstructive. He's just jealous. But no matter how he thought, he couldn't think of a joke. "I'm going to the lake," he said to Peter. There's where he got his best and funniest ideas. Like the key to the secret corridor. He grabbed his coat, and walked downstairs. Suddenly he stopped. Snape was walking before him. "Follow him?" Sirius thought. "Yes, I'll follow him." he decided. To Sirius' surprise Severus walked outside, and Sirius did the same. Where was he walking to? Severus stopped, and Sirius was afraid he might turn back and see him. Why did he stop? What was he looking at? Sirius did some steps aside to answer that question. He saw the white suit of Madame Pomfrey and a smaller figure which had to be Remus. Madame Pomfrey.... She had to return to the castle, and if she did, she would definitely see Severus and himself! Sirius quickly jumped behind a tree. Not much later Severus did the same, and when Madame Pomfrey was in the castle, Severus ran to the tree. Sirius giggled. Severus probably didn't know about the whomping willow. Sirius was right. Severus could just avoid an attacking branch. Suddenly something came up to Sirius. What if....-  
  
His brains were working on top speed. Yes, that would be a good revenge. He grinned, and then ran to Severus. "Hey! What are you doing here?" he yelled.  
  
Severus looked up. "I could ask you the same."  
  
Sirius tried to look very mad and not to laugh. "You're following Remus, aren't you?"  
  
"That's none of your business."  
  
"Well it is. Cause I know how to get passed that tree."  
  
"Yeah, of course. And I'm a mudblood. Get lost, Black."  
  
"Well, then DON'T believe. Don't think I'm going to give you away that secret because you don't believe."  
  
"Shut up. I'll tell Dumbledore about this."  
  
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'll tell you, because you insist. It's not a secret anymore, almost everybody knows it. You only have to take a branch, and push it on that thing on the tree." Sirius pointed at the exact place. "Then you can enter that trap-door."  
  
The look on Severus' face was doubtful. "If you're kidding me-"  
  
"I'm not! But I've gotta go now, so see ya!" Sirius quickly ran away.  
  
  
  
  
  
James was searching for Sirius. He walked to Peter. "Have you seen Sirius? He wanted me to explain him page 236 of 'The Future And Their Signs'."  
  
Peter nodded. "He said he went to the lake."  
  
"Oh, okay!" James grabbed his coat too, and walked downstairs. On his way he walked into Sirius. He was laughing loudly.  
  
"What are you laughing about?" James asked curious.  
  
Sirius just laughed, and fell on the ground. James helped him up again. Sirius tried to tell his story, but James could only catch some words.  
  
"What about Severus? The Whomping Willow? Is Severus hit by the Whomping Willow?" James tried.  
  
Sirious shook his head no, and tried to stop laughing. Finally he could tell James with a trembling voice. But his reaction wasn't as Sirius had expected.  
  
"You did WHAT? REMUS WILL KILL HIM!"  
  
"Oh, no way! He'll just get scared off." Sirius said careles. He turned his back to James. "I can just imagine the look on his face when he sees Remus in the shape of a wearwolf! Come on James, you can't tell me that....- James?!"  
  
Sirius sweared. James was gone.  
  
  
  
Out of breath James arrived at the school terrain. Immediately he felt the cold wind blowing in his face, and it started to rain. Severus wasn't at the school grounds. Would it be too late? James ran faster, only thinking of the awful things that could happen.... Finally he arrived to the Whomping Willow. He grabbed a branch, pushed it to the tree and then went into the gate. He heard the dreadful screaming which was probably Remus'. James felt his heart beating like a mad thing. While runnig further, not knowing what he should find, he pulled his wand. Then he walked into Severus. In the darkness James could still he his pale, surprised face. James was relieved it wasn't too late. Severus wanted to protest, but before he could say something James grabbed his arm. Severus roughly made him let go. "I will see it!" he said, and ran forward.  
  
"No, Severus, it's dangerous!" James yelled, and jumped to him. Both fell on the ground.  
  
"Let me go!" Severus said, and stood up again. They were almost to the end of the tunnel. James quickly ran past Severus, and barricaded his way. They could hear the angsty noices of Remus. They were really close now. James looked around when they heard an awful crying. Then he felt a pain on his back. Remus was transformed now, and didn't know who he was fighting with. He raised his claw to attack again. Severus eyes grew big. "A WEARWOLF?!" he screamed. "CAN'T BE!"  
  
James needed to get away quick, so he gave Severus a push. "RUN!" he yelled. "NOW!"  
  
An evil smile appeared on Severus' face, but he did what James said. They both ran to the trapdoor, followed by the screaming of the wearwolf. When they were standing outside, James' heart calmed down a little. "So," Severus said out of breath. "Remus is a wearwolf?"  
  
James kept silence. Severus started to walk to the castle. James followed. "What are you going to do now?" he asked. Severus still had this evil grin on his face.  
  
"Don't you think that's obvious? I'm going to tell Dumbledore. A wearwolf on school.....- I don't think a lot parents will like that idea."  
  
James got a bad feeling. Dumbledore knew already, but Severus was right about one thing. Think about all those owls with complaints he would get if this became public. They walked into the castle, and standed in front with Dumbledore and Sirius. "Professor, Remus is a..-" Dumbledore silenced him. His face was serious. "Follow me to my office." he only said, and walked away. The 3 boys followed. When they walked in, Dumbledore closed the door. Dumbledore sat down on his chair. The boys standed before his desk. He looked from one boy to another.  
  
"I've heard Sirius' story. First tell me yours, Severus, and then I want to hear James' story."  
  
Severus started with the fact that Remus was a wearwolf, and then exaggerated the most parts of the story. Sirius wanted to object when he told that Sirius had forced him to get into the trapdoor. James wanted to object too, but Dumbledore told them to keep silence. When James had told him his story too, Dumbledore took a good breath.  
  
"According to this story's, I suppose all of you were wrong. Sirius hadn't told Severus about the secret tunnel. Severus hadn't be so curious to do what Sirius said, and James hadn't go and saved him on his own."  
  
Severus opened his mouth to say something, but Dumbledore was faster.  
  
"About Remus- I already knew he's a wearwolf. We found a solution for that problem, so I don't think it's necessary to keep talking about that. Severus, I command you to keep silence about that. If you don't, you'll be in big trouble. Very big trouble."  
  
Severus smile faded. Sirius now was the one smiling.  
  
"Sirius, a joke is fine. I've been joking a lot at your age, too." Dumbledores eyes were sparkling naughty for a moment. Then it disappeared again. "But you've got to think of the consequences. Severus could have been killed." Sirius nodded. His smile was gone. Dumbledores eyes went to James. "James, next time first confer with a teacher. But I guess you've acted really brave, and if you had conferred with me, it would have been to late. So, well done." He smiled, and James couldn't pressure a grin. "I don't want you to talk about this. Then you can go now."  
  
With big steps Severus leaved the office. Sirius and James followed, trying to hide their giggling. Outside Severus waited for them. "Listen Potter, I'll get you for that. And you too, Black." He walked away. Trying to stop laughing was really bad. But it went good, till they were in the common room. Sirius burst out in a laugh, and even James had to laugh.  
  
"Did you see his face when Dumbledore said 'Well done'?!! HE WAS RUINED!!!" Sirius laughed loudly. The other children looked up. What were they laughing about?  
  
From that day, Severus had a big reverse to Sirius, Remus and James. 


	4. Thoughts in my head

Everybody thinks I'm heartless.  
  
I'm not.  
  
I have thoughts and feelings too.  
  
Not that I will show them to anyone, but I do have them.  
  
For example, I'm very proud to my title as sarcastic asshole.  
  
I bet you thought I was proud on my title as Potionmaster.  
  
I'm not.  
  
I hate being it.  
  
I want to teach Defend Against Dark Arts.  
  
Everybody knows that.  
  
Albus knows that.  
  
But for some reason he doesn't want to give me the job.  
  
It was great to teach DADA when Alastor wasn't able to give it, even though it was Gryffindor I had to teach.  
  
I told Albus.  
  
He just smiled, with those twinkling eyes.  
  
I know I shouldn't hate the guy; he has forgiven my work as Death eater.  
  
He even trusts me.  
  
But every time I talk to him about the job, he keeps silent.  
  
That makes me feel he's playing games with me.  
  
Minerva and I are his best partners.  
  
Oh, and Rubeus, but you can't call that giant a partner.  
  
I'm not calling him even a professor.  
  
I shall never do that.  
  
But, every time there are problems Minerva and I are the first to help Albus.  
  
Not that I'm a team with her, of course.  
  
I still can't believe most of the teachers has forgiven me.  
  
The Dark Lord was so mad when I appeared again, as a spy this time.  
  
I told him I was sick, that time that I didn't appear on the meeting.  
  
He didn't accept it.  
  
He said to the group you had to come, no matter what.  
  
If not, then the same would happen to them, as to me.  
  
That was the first time he did the Crucio curse on me.  
  
It was terrible.  
  
I would rather be death.  
  
I felt like my bones were ripped out of my body.  
  
My skin was being squeezed of my flesh.  
  
It sounds disgusting, but it was so awful.  
  
But then it stopped.  
  
I fell on the ground, and hoped He would forgive me.  
  
I wanted to scream to Him.  
  
Tell Him that Albus Dumbledore would take revenge.  
  
Albus Dumbledore.  
  
If anyone would even call his name, Voldemort would kill him.  
  
That name was making him nervous.  
  
Just like James' name is making me nervous.  
  
James Potter.  
  
The bastard.  
  
Stole everything everything away from me.  
  
My reputation as best seeker.  
  
He won from me in a duel.  
  
But the worst thing he took away from me is of course she.  
  
Of all the girls he could take, he took her.  
  
Lily Evans.  
  
Yes, she's the reason why I went to the Dark side.  
  
I was desperate.  
  
Lily Evans.  
  
After she left me I promised myself that I would never love again.  
  
Never be nice again.  
  
Never show any emotions.  
  
Never let any warm feeling into my heart again.  
  
It worked.  
  
I've never been hurt again.  
  
But I don't know if I've done a good job by doing that.  
  
**********************************~  
  
Short, I know. Not my best shot, I know. Now, you've got 3, no, 4 opportunities:  
  
- Flame me (then I'm defenitely never going to write a story like this again)  
  
- Tell me how to improve it (I'll rewrite it)  
  
- Tell me you've liked it (small chance, but of course I would like to know that)  
  
- Don't review (then I'll never know how you think about it)  
  
~+~+~Make your choice!~+~+~ 


End file.
